Thursday, July 26, 2007

Murphy's Law explained!!!

Now this is a fairly big post - might as well become part of a book some day! Try reading until the end in one go! I hope I'm able to hold you until then. This comes from one of those ‘once-in-a-lifetime’ experiences that I had just over a month ago; the 25th of June, 07'. And what better setting could it possibly be, than the Chatrapati Shivaji International Airport, Mumbai!
All I can remember of that day now when I look back is the famous Murphy’s Law:
If SHIT has to happen, no matter what, it will happen!!!
In short, Shit happens!

This was my version of the law! Well, 'shit' started happening a night before in Kanpur, when the handle of my 30 kg suitcase gave up and I had to drag it from the sides. Looking at the journey staring right into my face (Kanpur --> Delhi --> Bombay, in the middle of a rain-storm --> Dubai, probably in the middle of a sand-storm and God-knows-where in Dubai), I had reason enough to believe it wasn't wise to continue with a handle-less suitcase, and hence came about a spot decision to order a new one at Delhi! Well, this was just the easier bit of the ordeal - to call up my friend, Rajvir uncle, who happens to be Papa's work colleague, but more of a friend to me, and ask him for a favour. And you bet it was one wise decision I took. You will realise how this decision made my life a lot lot easier down the lane.

Well, back to where I started writing this post, Delhi saw me leaving with a few tears in Mummy's loving eyes and the proud look on Papa's face! 'Take good care son, and beware of the wrong people and the wrong habits! Do your best and God will take care of the rest' were the usual departing words, which have always and always meant the most to me. The 'I'll miss you Dad, Mom' apart, I was looking forward to this new place called Dubai. As it happened, I was to catch my flight from Mumbai the next morning at 1300 hours - an Airbus A320, Air India flight it was to be.

After the night with a darling old friend, Chahana and family at Lokhandwala Complex, thanks to the Mumbai rain-premonition, it didn't take me much time to figure out that taking the earliest auto rickshaw would be a good idea to make sure I reach well within time for my flight (the international reporting time for Air India being 2 and a half hours). I was expecting to see a couple of friends there, Srikant & co., who were on the same flight. And as it always happens, when you have all the time in the world to spare, there is no traffic, there is no rain, you tend to find all the traffic signals green and all the positive things! Well, so far I seemed to be well on way towards my dream destination.

The auto dropped me at the airport at 0830 hours, a good two-and-a-half hours even before my reporting time. Although realising the over-punctuality, I headed straight to the check-in counter, assuming I was right on time, ignoring any side-glances from the airport staff, who knew that the first Dubai flight was only at 1330. And no irony here, I was promptly told to report to them not before 1100. Having nothing to do for the next 2 and a half hours, I wandered around, checking out the place, checking out the people. All of a sudden, all the beautiful women seemed to have disappeared from Bombay. Well, at least from the airport! Absolutely dry it was inside there, as compared to the heavy rains that I could see through the clear glass gates! Who could've imagined that I would be out there getting drenched with my luggage (yes, including my new suitcase) in a few hours from now in the same rain!

Well, the next two hours were quite uneventful as I had, by then, scanned through all the shops, couldn't even check-in so that I could've gone to the better ones at the duty free shops! I had some extra Indian rupees, about Rs. 700, part of which I thought would be good to spend on a set of Tantra tees at the one of the shops. I did have a safety stock inside my big suitcase, so there wasn't much hesitation in spending that amount then. The balance , I spent making a few phone calls - friends and home. Did I mention that Mom n Dad had just reached Chandrapur and did not have a contact number, that being their first day? The only way I could connect to them was Papa's old cell phone, which would be with him for a few more hours. I, having stayed in India only for 10-odd days, did not have a local sim card.

1105 it was, when I made my fourth trip to the check-in counter and finally she agreed to take me in! The usual stuff, an uninterested glance at my face with my passport's photograph-page-open in her hands, she asked, 'So, first time Dubai?' I said with an assumed smile, 'Yes Ma'am', trying to build up a rapport instantly as I knew I was well above the luggage limit by about 7-8 kilos. She smiled and then, for some odd reason, her smile changed into a grin. Quizzically I looked at her and then at the seemingly senior officer who was standing behind her across the counter. And so did even his expression change to a grin! I had no clue what was so un-funny in my passport that un-smiled them both instantly. And the next five words from her that now make me laugh, were, 'Sorry Sir, you cannot take this flight!'

'Ha!!!' is exactly what my expression was, on her seemingly stupid remark! 'Sorry Sir, you cannot take this flight!', I repeated in my mind. I didn't know she was not kidding! What I gathered from our next conversation was that I needed an ECNR (Emigration Check Not Required) stamp on my passport. Now this was a shock to me. I clarify my stand here that I'm not as stupid to be at an airport traveling to Dubai without an ECNR stamp. It was one full day that I had spent standing in the queue to get the same stamped at Pune Passport Office, Senapati Bapat road, only to be told by the CPO that the system had been scrapped and that no country needs an ECNR now! I had not bothered to ask anyone about it after that. But this woman behind the counter, and the 6 immigration officers I talked to after her claimed that all gulf countries still needed the stamp. They were obviously doing their job, but it was a disgusting situation where they say flat on your face something like 'Sorry Sir, you cannot take this flight!' Ridiculous!

Even though I'm not a believer of breaking the system to get things done, but at this moment I desperately thought if there was a way! In the desperation to catch the flight, I went to the extent of asking the chief immigration officer (CIO) if there was an "alternative" that I could get away with, but only to be given a shrewd stare and a 'Kid, d'you have any idea who you're talking to' kind of a look! I backed out. But there was a legal way of getting out of this mess. About 20 kilometers from the airport, in Santacruz (E) was this place called Khiranagar where I could get a temporary stamp. According to the locals and my dear CIO, it would take me at least an hour and a half to go, get the job done and come back. Now when he said this, there was that expression again on his face which said 'Kid, that's the only thing you can possibly do, or you better find a hotel in the city to stay overnight!' And not to forget, he had a clear hint of 'you will have to pay a "little extra" here and there to beat the system'. And boy! Dead right was he! Plus there was this added burden of carrying my luggage with me all around the city in the heaviest of rains it had seen after the famous 26th June floods!

Well, it would have been defying the Murphy's law if I had to make it back to the airport on time! One thing that definitely went in my favour was the brand new easy-to-carry suitcase :) With the 350 odd bucks that I had with me in my pocket, and with no cash machine nearby, it seemed impossible to arrange for the to-and-fro trip with the 'little extra'. Srikant, one of my classmates came to my rescue here who could manage Rs. 900 and his sim-card (which never worked eventually) out of his pocket. That made it about 1250 that I had in all. One phone call to Dad describing the situation, 4 autos, a taxi, bribing 2 brokers and two and a half hours of the Bombay rain saw me return to the airport at 1320, about 5 minutes after the aircraft gates had closed! Needless to mention that I had wasted about 5-10 minutes bargaining with the taxi driver and a broker - not because I liked bargaining, but because I did not have any cash! In fact, the latest auto driver had to be consoled with my last 2-dollar (Singapore) note that I had kept as a memento. That was the only option I had, when my cash fell short of the meter reading by about 70 bucks!

All this while, Dad had been trying his pull at the immigration office. There was no way I could contact him during my auto / taxi / bribe / rain bash. It was only on coming back to the airport, now with nothing to loose, I got in touch with the airport authorities to learn that there had been about 17 announcements on my name, with my Dad trying to get in touch! And Papa's voice on phone said it all; 'Where were you all this while!!! I've been getting announcements made for you! That ECNR thing could've been done in three minutes at the immigration desk itself!'.

Well! The expression on my face would've been best captured and preserved! Murphy's law! 'Shit' had just happened!

*** A 15-minute wait at the airport and I would've got Papa's announcements!

*** Had Srikant's sim card worked, things would've been a lot different! But hats of to that man, he did the best he could to help me! Will be ever so thankful to you, mate!

*** A 5-minute discussion with the Pune Passport Office officer 6 months ago (that was in my last India visit from UK) would've saved all the trouble!

*** A few more bucks in my pocket, a Tantra t-shirt less and I would've saved a good 10 minutes to be on the flight!

*** An old suitcase would've left me with 4500 rupees extra in my pocket, again giving me those extra few minutes to be in time for the flight!

*** Can't see why the check-in counter lady couldn't tell me all that she did about an hour before she actually did?

Yes, I saw that flight take off right in front of my eyes through the same gates from that showed me the rain in the morning. The same rain that me and my new suitcase were drenched in! It just had to happen that day!

All said and done, it was just a matter of Rs. 9745 and another 5 hour wait when I caught the 6 o'clock Air India flight via Delhi which had no air conditioners - a so-called technical snag!

(SH)it just had to happen! But the positive part - I now have a brand new VIP suitcase and a Tantra T-shirt!

18 comments:

Prats said...

Hillarious!!!! I can't believe this really did happened.....
I am so proud of u that u got a handle on ur suitcase and tantra T for 9k lager raho India!!!!!

Surabhi said...

WOW buddy ... that was pretty courageous and i m proud of u :D

vijayan said...

I had come to know that u had faced some problems at Mumbai Airport, but the facts of it could I know now. Your sense of humour at such a frusturation is really commendable. I am sure such an apporach to life will take u very high.

Unknown said...

Hahaha... Hilarious

All I can say is:
Cost of a replacement suitcase: Rs. 4500
Cost of getting ECNR stamp on our passport in financial capital of India in a record time: Rs. 1250
Paying up for the Rickshaw meter deficit: 2 Singapore Dollars
Cost of an air-ticket cos u missed ur scheduled flight due to above heroics: Rs. 9500
The look on your face after realising that all this was avoidable if u had a patience that wud last for 15 more min: Priceless!

There are some thing money can't buy, for everything else there's 'Experience'.

Gud one bro... keep posting.. waiting for the one you talked about today morning.

Jaydeep H said...

Murphy's law understood ! :)

well written mate..
keep it up !

Unknown said...

Man i must say u have such tremendious caliber of writting.It was so amusing that i did really felt bad for what happened to u but could not stop laughing on it.

Cheers dude carry on with ur work of entertaining us with the mishappenings in ur life :-D

Iceman said...

Best form of murphy's law explanation ever seen....quite n experience!!

Anonymous said...

aawwww!
is all that i can say!

FaeLLe said...

A google search for ECNR would have saved you all the mess.

The immigration staff at airports are allowed to grant exemptions in the event of emergencies.

Should have called me from the airport :p

Abhishek Navlakha said...

teree toh.. tu toh item numbr hain.. pur in some more interesting stories here..i like them [:D]

Kinjal said...

Duffer u r!!..
Couldnt have called me once...
You fool!!!...
Dumb u r!!.... Itne ghante mere shahar mein rehkar ek baar bhi meri yaad nahi aayi ...
Kaise Dost ho tum.... Aur kuch nahi toh main tumhaari thodi bahut madat zaroor kar sakti thi.... BIG FOOL u r!!!

Unknown said...

that was really terrible.. u need a lot of patience for handling such situations. even i wasted 2 whole days in bangalore to get my ECNR done before coming to dubai..

@k$#@T! said...

Well!! Wish I had those two days you had!! Problem is, you don't normally have the time to be patient in such situations! :)

Jyoti said...

Well seemed to be a really unfortunate situation but part of life!!
cool blog though

Unknown said...

well that was really an eventful day!!
i too got involved in ur eventful day after ur sms..n that frantic call from aunty... searching for her son

RA said...

Awesome ..is truely an understatement...But that really was something ..experienced the rains of mumbai thru this..great write up ..:)

Sham said...

Dear Akshat,.,.,
Murphy's law Truely Explained!!!
Damn Shit man
I have seen this with my own eyes,.,.,,

Simply putting it----------------
Imagine Rupees Thirteen Thousand Seven Hundred and Fifty only,,.Gone,.in just 2 mins,.,

Anonymous said...

ahem ahem....how can i forget...sheerys write eventful day...everything seems to be perfect when i left from tht airport...never knew ill get a shocking call from aunty saying ...akshatz missing :) haha...yeh i feel like laughing now but i can seriously imagine my reaction then....nywaz very well written .....